How to spot a perfectionist child
People with perfectionism often find themselves in a never-ending cycle of self-dissatisfaction and anxiety created by always needing to be, or needing to appear perfect. If they perform at a level lower than their personal standards, they tend to experience a great deal of uneasiness and sometimes perceive the whole performance as an utter failure.
In the fast-paced world we live in, and the unrealistic standards set by social media and celebrity icons, the 21st century might be one of the worst times to be a perfectionist. Given that perfectionism often begins in the early years of life and can be affected by situational factors, we will talk about some signs to look for in a potentially perfectionist child.
Some signs that a child might be a perfectionist:
It is almost impossible for them to be satisfied with work they do, or results they obtain. An example of this is a teenager who always concludes that their performance or outcome at school is not good enough.
Experiencing anxiety and stress when confronted with a difficult task, failure, or criticism. These types of confrontations seem like threats to a child who is a perfectionist because criticism and failure are associated with their self-worth. As a result, perfectionists try to avoid tasks that bring out weaknesses in their skillset (i.e., by withdrawing from trying difficult exercises in class).
Children with perfectionism also tend to be overly critical of themselves and other people. A perfectionist’s high expectations of themselves, might also reflect on the expectations they have from other people. An example could be a teenager that is being highly critical and harsh towards their siblings for their mistakes.
The way to pinpoint the difference between a highly ambitious individual and a perfectionist is that a perfectionist is often scared of making mistakes and failing, because of the threat associated with being imperfect. Ambition often comes with a desire to learn and become better, and therefore embraces mistakes and improvement. Perfection is also distinct in that there is a constant cycle of trying to preserve a perfect and often unrealistic image of ourselves, or others.