Tending to your child’s crying matters
I’ve been hearing too often lately of the ancient approach to children’s crying: “Just let them cry it out”. This approach lets the child self-soothe and stop crying on their own. Research and all of us child development specialists support for a different approach: one with strong foundations in responsive parenting and empathy. In this blog post, I will suggest why tending to your child’s crying with empathy is vital to their brain, behavioural and attachment development.
Brain development
During infancy and the early years of development, the brain goes through rapid development and structural changes. By responding to your crying infant, toddler or young child with empathy, you are giving them a safe environment supporting healthy brain development. This helps regulate their stress response, promoting the formation of healthy neural connections.
Emotional regulation
Emotional regulation is a skill that is learned, it is not an automatic reaction for young children or infants. This is the developmental stage where they are forming their initial understanding of emotional regulation. As the parent, when you respond to their cries with comfort and empathy, you are validating their emotions, while teaching them healthier ways to manage this. As your child grows, this technique helps them develop healthy regulation skills to cope effectively with challenging feelings.
Secure attachment
In fostering a secure attachment with your child, it is important to consistently respond to their emotional needs with empathy. Attachment is important to their emotional and social development. When you are meeting their needs and giving them comfort, you are showing your child that they are loved, valued and that their distress is important to you.
Trust and confidence
A child whose cries are met with empathy, develops trust and confidence in themselves. They believe that their needs are important, and they can rely on their parents for support. This further nurtures the sense of security to explore their environment, take risks and build a healthy autonomy.
Behavioural development
Through research, we know that children with responsive parenting styles and empathetic responses to their cries show more positive behavioural development. They are less likely to show aggressive or challenging behaviours, since their emotional needs are met well, they feel understood, safe and supported.
Think long-term
Parenting style especially during the early years of childhood has long-lasting effects on a child’s well-being and development. Responsive parenting and an empathetic style improve mental health, promote higher self-esteem and build better social skills in adulthood.